Fix It Formula (for a Terrible Relationship with the Supevisor)

Communication difficulties top the list of problems employees have with their bosses. Most boil down to five key issues. They include

• Disparities in the amount of work assigned from one employee to the next.
• Minimal praise or no recognition for a job well done
• Dissatisfaction with pay and refusal to address it
• Personality style and performance style differences
• Minimal or no constructive feedback about performance

So, here is the Fix-It for Improving the Relationship with Your Supervisor...

• Prior to meeting with your boss, define the real issue that is creating problems in your relationship. Consider whether you played a role. Did communication issues play a role?

• Write down your concerns. Forget the small and petty stuff for now.

• Meet with your supervisor and explain in plain, unemotional language your observations and concerns about the relationship.

• Be positive in your energy and demeanor—not cocky, passive aggressive, or acting as if you are cornering your boss.

• Wait for your supervisor’s response. He or she may agree or may have another opinion. Hang on every word. Do not be defensive.

• Own your “half” of the relationship problem. It is unlikely you will get very far if you don’t accept the universal principle that each party in conflict plays a role in contributing to relationship problems.

• Your goal is an improved relationship, not to find fault.

• Ask for constructive feedback on your performance. Let your boss have the last word in this conversation.

Initiate regular contact with your boss going forward. As nationally known EA professional and mental health therapist, Dodie Gill, LPC frequently said, "Do not let a tree grow between you and your supervisor." EAP Employee Assistance Programs


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